Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) was the condition that led me to deep diving into the ADHD research realm and eventually leading to my late adult diagnosis. While many neurodivergent folxs experience RSD, it is not commonly discussed outside of the ND circles. Lets hop onto the emotional rollercoaster that is RSD and learn why counselling and therapy could help in alleviating some of the distress it can cause.
What is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)?
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is like having a built-in amplifier for your emotions, cranking them up to eleven at the slightest hint of criticism, rejection, or failure. It’s like wearing your heart on your sleeve and your nerves on your skin, all while riding a rollercoaster through an emotional theme park. *Note here for the readers, I truly hate roller coasters. There is no dopamine for me. There is no release of excitement. I hate them.*
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, or RSD, is an intense emotional response triggered by the perception of rejection, criticism, or failure. It’s not just about feeling sad or disappointed; it’s an overwhelming wave of emotions that can include deep sadness, anger, shame, and even physical discomfort. People experiencing RSD often have a hypersensitive nervous system that magnifies these emotional responses, making them feel unbearable.
Who can experience RSD?
While rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is commonly associated with ADHD, it can also occur in individuals with other neurotypes such as autism or anxiety disorders. However, it’s essential to recognize that RSD isn’t exclusive to any particular neurotype. It can manifest in anyone who has a heightened sensitivity to perceived rejection, criticism, or failure. So, while ADHD is often the primary context in which RSD is discussed, it’s important to understand that individuals from various backgrounds and neurotypes may experience it as well.
How It Differs from Normal Self-Doubt
Now, you might be thinking, “Hey, isn’t everyone a bit sensitive to rejection?” True, but RSD takes it to a whole new level. While self-doubt might make you question your abilities, RSD feels like cliff jumping from a 20ft drop and landing face first in a horrible belly flop while everyone yells “OUCH!” (Long story short, this actually happened to me).
With self-doubt, we often doubt our abilities and feel embarrassment if something doesn’t go as planned. The feelings usually fade quickly, even if we are reminded of the event at a later date. Whereas with RSD, the feeling is overwhelming and often feels like shame (feeling like a bad person vs feeling like we may have made a mistake).
Effects on Personal Life, Work, School, and Relationships
Ah, the ripple effects of RSD! The thoughts and feelings that can accompany RSD can trickle into lots of aspects of our lives.
- Personal Life: In personal life, RSD can lead to avoidance of social situations or withdrawal from relationships to protect oneself from potential rejection or criticism. This can result in feelings of loneliness and isolation.
- Work/School: In academic or professional settings, RSD may manifest as perfectionism or procrastination. Fear of failure or criticism can prevent individuals from taking risks or pursuing opportunities, ultimately hindering their progress and growth.
- Relationships: RSD can strain relationships as individuals may become defensive or overly sensitive to perceived slights from their loved ones. This can create misunderstandings and conflicts, eroding trust and intimacy over time.
It might make you avoid social situations like the plague or second-guess every interaction, turning simple conversations into high-stakes poker games. At work or school, it can lead to the “I’ll do it later” dance, leaving you with a mountain of unfinished tasks and a sinking feeling in your gut. RSD can turn the slightest disagreement into a full-blown emotional showdown, leaving everyone involved feeling like they just survived a tornado.
How Counseling Can Help
Fortunately, counseling can be instrumental in managing and coping with RSD. Here are some ways in which counseling can offer support:
- Psychoeducation: Understanding RSD and its relationship with ADHD, autism, AuDHD and other neurotypes is the first step towards managing it effectively. Counseling can provide information and resources to help you grasp the nature of their emotions and reactions.
- Emotion Regulation Skills: Counseling can teach practical strategies for regulating intense emotions associated with RSD. This may include mindfulness techniques, relaxation exercises, and emotional expression practices. By identifying and altering distorted beliefs about rejection and criticism, you may learn to respond to situations in ways that honour your needs and boundaries.
- Communication Skills: Learning assertiveness skills can empower individuals to communicate their needs and boundaries effectively, reducing the likelihood of misunderstandings and conflicts in relationships.
- Building Resilience: Counseling can foster resilience by helping you develop coping mechanisms and adaptive strategies for navigating challenging situations. This includes preparing for over stimulating situations before they happen, managing emotions when they arise, and fostering self compassion.
- Self Empathy: Sometimes our RSD is really valid. As a result of living within a world that doesn’t often recognize and work with neurodivergence, folxs who experience RSD often experience higher rates of criticism, negative “correction” and isolation. With continued rejection, it can be hard to have self compassion and empathy. Working with a counsellor can help you build your positive self talk and help you value yourself as you deserve.
Conclusion
RSD is really something that can be hard to explain to those who may not experience it. I’ve even had people tell me it sounds like self-loathing, which it can often feel like. Like any condition, it is important to realize you aren’t alone. It is also important to know that there are ways to work with your needs and reduce the distress that RSD can cause. If you are looking for counselling in Ontario or counselling in Nova Scotia to help with your mental health and support in addressing RSD symptoms, reach out. I am happy to connect and see if we are a good fit.
About Care Culture Counselling- Online Counselling and Therapy in Ontario and Nova Scotia
Care Culture Counselling and Support Services offers virtual (online) counselling, psychotherapy (supervised), and mental health support to adults and teens (18+) living in Nova Scotia and Ontario. Counselling and psychotherapy services are available to support a wide variety of needs, including processing adult late diagnosed ADHD, autsim, AuDHD and other neurodivergence.
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Care Culture Counselling and Support Services offers individual counseling, couples counselling, partners counselling, with services being covered by many insurance providers.
?Are you a student? Many university and college health plans for both local and international students cover RSSW counselling and psychotherapy services.There is no direct billing at this time, however you will receive an invoice and receipt that you can provide to your insurance provider.
Counselling can cover a wide variety of topics. We will work together to make sure that the approach uses the best possible fit for your goals and concerns. Counselling can help with topics like:
Counselling for anxiety, counselling for ADHD, counselling for AuDHD, counselling for autism, counseling for adult diagnosed ADHD, counselling for adult diagnosed AuDHD, counseling for adult diagnosed autism, counselling for assertiveness, counselling for people pleasing, counselling for body image, counselling for conflict resolution, counseling for conflict with friends, counseling for conflict with family, couples counselling, counselling for depression, counselling for separations, counselling for break ups, counselling for divorce, counselling for family issues, grief counselling, counselling for chronic illness, counselling for health issues, counselling for 2SLGBTQ+, queer counselling, counselling for motivation, counselling for OCD, counselling for parents, counselling for parenting issues, counselling for perfectionism, counselling for people pleasing, counselling for procrastination, counselling for self-confidence, counselling for low self-esteem, sexuality and gender counselling, counselling for shyness, counselling for social anxiety, counseling for stress, stress management counselling, counselling for work stress, career related counselling, cultural counselling, counselling for BIPOC communities, counselling for the global majority, counselling for activists, and so much more.